Mentor’s comment-
- In the introduction first discuss the issue of suicides among youth; quote facts to highlight the issue and how it is related to
lacunae in the education system. - In the body discuss the causes, symptoms of suicides among the young. Mainly discuss the connection if any with the education system. Highlight the lacunae in the educational system.
- Conclude that society, parents, educational system need to join hands for the holistic well-being of the children.
Comments
21 responses to “Suicide frequency among the youth and especially students is rising in the country. Education is to be blamed for this to a great extent. Today while education is imparting attributes needed for competition and existentialist requirements, it is failing to give us eternal values like courage, character, patience, honesty, integrity, etc. Do you agree? Give reasons. 10 marks”
Please Review OrderID – ~0000232028
Hi Parakh
Good introduction.
In the reason part, write conflict of values.
You have explained the causes in a decent manner, but work on space management as you have to give some suggestions as well as conclusion.
In the measures part, you can write like there is a need of family support and cohesion, including good communication. We can have peer support and close social networks. Need to have school and community connectedness etc.
Write in conclusion that there is a need to reinvent educational ecosystem .
Work on handwriting.
Overall a decent attempt.
Keep writing,you will succeed.
Order ID- #0000237952
Please review
Please review
Hi PSR
Instead of long paragraphs, try to write in points or a mix of small paragraphs and points.
In your answer, basically you have written the impact of suicides, write the causes, symptoms of suicides among the young. Mainly discuss the connection if any with the education system.
Then give some way forward like there is a need of family support and cohesion, including good communication. We can have peer support and close social networks. Need to have school and community connectedness etc.
Read mentor’s comment before writing, it will help you in writing a better structured answer.
Adhere to the demand of the question.
Work hard,you will improve.
#0000236123
Hi Uttam
In the introduction discuss the issue of suicides among youth then quote some data.
You have explained the reasons in a decent manner.
You have write about the importance of eternal value, that is not the demand if the question, question is asking how education system is responsible for suicides and what can be done to improve educational ecosystem.
You can write point like
-School and community connectedness.
-Cultural or religious beliefs that discourage suicide and promote healthy living.
-Adaptive coping and problem-solving skills, including conflict-resolution.
-General life satisfaction, good self-esteem, sense of purpose.
-Easy access to effective medical and mental health resources.
Work on content.
Adhere to the demand of the question.
Work hard,you will improve !
MOJO0204R00N55952566
Hi Chester
Good introduction.
Before writing about the educational system , explain briefly the causes of suicides among the youth.
Write crisp and concise so that you can add more content in the given word limit.
Solutions are decently explained .
Avoid grammatical errors and work on sentence formation.
Rephrase your conclusion.
Work on proper structure to get better marks.
Keep writing !
Payment ID: #0000230867
Hi Deepika
Good introduction.
Work on space management, use a flow chart for various causes as that is not the main demand of the question, write about the problems in education system .
Always suggest some way forward , in this you can write what can be done to improve our educational ecosystem.
Good conclusion.
Be consistent, keep writing !
Order no. #0000233081
Hi Dakshina
Rephrase your introduction.
You have discusses the causes in a decent manner.
How while traveling, students face discrimination and isolation ? Write condensed content.
After writing the lacunae in education system, suggest some measures to improve the system.
Good conclusion.
Improve your handwriting !
Keep writing !
Please review my answer
Payment id: pay_FBZIFj9zlhdajP
Hi Anu
Try to complete your answer in maximum two pages.
Adhere to word limit.
Introduction is good but need to summarise it, add NCRB data in the introduction only .
You have explained the reasons in a comprehensive manner.
Suggested strategy is decent.
Overall the content is good and well placed.
Avoid using short forms .
Avoid using unnecessary capital alphabets in between of a sentence.
Overall a good attempt.
Keep writing !
#0000230227
Hi Teja
Good introduction.
You have explained the reasons in a decent manner.
After writing about the education system, suggest some measures to tackle the problem.
Always suggest some way forward. you can write in this question that-
-School and community connectedness.
-Cultural or religious beliefs that discourage suicide and promote healthy living.
-Adaptive coping and problem-solving skills, including conflict-resolution.
-General life satisfaction, good self-esteem, sense of purpose.
-Easy access to effective medical and mental health resources.
Rephrase your conclusion.
Avoid cutting this much.
Scan in proper light.
Keep writing,you will succeed.
Order id #0000225038
Hi Sushmita
Good introduction.
Before writing about the education system, cite some reasons for suicide.
We have already dance and music periods in our schools, write some solid points like
-School and community connectedness.
-Cultural or religious beliefs that discourage suicide and promote healthy living.
-Adaptive coping and problem-solving skills, including conflict-resolution.
-General life satisfaction, good self-esteem, sense of purpose.
-Easy access to effective medical and mental health resources.
Work on content.
Brainstorm before writing.
Improve your handwriting,differentiate between your ‘e’ and ‘r’ ,
‘will grew’ , ‘building sportive nature’ etc, work on grammar and sentence formation.
Work hard,you will improve.
Payment id :#0000237030
Hi Unnati
Rephrase your introduction.
Avoid scribbling while writing, write neat and legible.
Reasons are well explained.
We already have physical education in our syllabus, write genuine points.
Rest of the solutions are decent.
System are failing,education system failing .. avoid grammatical errors.
Good conclusion.
Work on presentation to get better marks.
Keep working hard !