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“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduction – write about this quotation. It’s context.
Body – explain what this line means in ethics.
It’s significance for âActing on words that one preachâ.
Explain its role in life of leaders.
Depict its relevance for civil servants.
Conclusion – conclude on how life of great leaders becomes learning for others.
Ref id 422329
Please review
Vishal
Your introduction is good.
In main body part of answer structure is one aspect where you can work. Your answer lacks concrete arguments.
How life can be lesson ?
By guiding others, inspiring others.
People read biographies because they see life of great people as lesson. Use arguments like this.
You have not written conclusion. Always try to end your answer with some concluding remark.
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Subhashree
First thing it was a 10 marker question and you have gone for 3 pages. UPSC will provide you only 2 pages. You have way too exceeded the word limit.
Writing much beyond word limit is not going to help. Sometimes aspirants failed to convey same thing in more words than they can convey in less words. And this is platform for you to practice that.
You have written good but again shorten it.
Keep writing to improve further.
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Sakshi
Introduction is fine. You can improve it further by adding some example.
Main body part of the answer is attempted well. You can add some more dimension like life of leaders itself become lessons for others as they try to live by principles they preach.
In Conclusion you need some improvement. Try to phrase it like a summarising line for quotes based questions.
Also, try to add few more examples in your arguments to give more depth to your answer. You have given example of Einstein. It’s good. Follow this practice for every paragraph. One paragraph with one concise example. Even one line example is enough.
Keep writing to improve further
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Vivek
Your introduction is good.
One area where you can improve is structure of your answer. Try to frame complete answer in mind and then write it. It will give better flow to your answer.
In body part you have written well. You can further improve it by adding more dimension like – one who learn with mistakes, his/her life also become lessons for others. That’s why we read biographies of great persons.
Also, don’t go for stand alone examples like you did in 2nd paragraph. Always use example to substantiate your point.
Keep writing to improve further
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Harshaa
You have the right knowledge and content. Use that in a smart way in your answers.
In quoted based questions, although it is named who has given it but you don’t have to write about that person only. You have to interpret quote in both way. How he/she interpreted it and how you see this quote from an administrator point of view.
Also, add more words to your answer. Half page is too less.
Keep writing to improve further.
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Arpit
You have attempted well. One area where you have to work is adding example.
Follow the principle of one argument followed by one example.
Also, try not to repeat the same point. You have discussed same point of learning from others in 2 paragraphs of your 2nd page. Try to avoid it.
Conclusion is good. You can further improve it by adding one or two line summarising your whole answer.
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Shivanshu
You have many definite areas to improve –
1. Write short concise lines. You have written very long lines with ambiguous meaning.
2. You need to interpret question properly and then write as per demand of question. Take help of mentors comment.
3. What you have written in last paragraph of your answer was the actual answer. What you have written before that is not of much use from context of answer.
4. Read other students answers to get hold of good answer writing.
Keep writing to improve further.
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Tanushree
You need more clarity in understanding demand of question.
Quotations based questions doesn’t mean you have to give it totally to the person associated with quote. You have to add your interpretation too.
Also, avoid repetition. Your first half page is repeating truth and non-violence words without much value addition.
Your structure is good. I hope with more clarity in answers demand you can write good answer.
Keep writing to improve further.
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Ankita
You have written well.
You can add more depth to your answer by adding more dimension like – add your own interpretation to what do you understand by the quote irrespective of what it meant to speaker.
Rest is well attempted.
Keep writing to improve further:)
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Kartikey
You have not understood the demand of the question well.
In quote based question you are not supposed to write the life of the speaker of quote.
Instead, you have to write the context of quote. What it meant for speaker. Now explain this with some example of his/her life.
Furthermore, explain what the quote meant to you. Explain it’s important for modern times especially for administration.
You have content. Mold it as per demand of the question.
Keep writing to improve further.
Please review Q4
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MG ,
You have understood the context of the quote, also articulated well in the answer.
But here you were not asked to write the reviews of his autobiography.
After explaining the context like you did in intro.
Explain it with some example from Gandhi’s life.
Than explain what is the meaning of the for you. How’s it important for a civil servant. Again giving by example.
Try to try short paragraph. Write examples.
Read others’ answers as well. Keep writing:)
Review
Ref no 0000420120
Rajlaxmi,
You introduction is fine and Conclusion is really well articulated.
In main body you talked only about one dimension i.e. learn from mistakes here you need to add more dimensions on the lines that One must do whatever she/he preaches.
Also you need to inculcate examples in your answer. Follow the principle of giving an example for each argument.
Read others’ answers well. Keep writing đ
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HHOoNABVzCCLcD
Aabha ,
You need to focus on the context of the quote in the introduction. Be explain the context rather than mentioning whom statement it is as It’s already given the with the question. So mold your Arguments more effectively.
In main body you have focused only on one dimensions i.e. learn from experience and you stretched it as whole answer.
Add more dimensions like how experience work as feedback mechanism, how one need to stick to right lessons.
Also quote example, there is no example in your answer.
Without example answer seems hollow.
Try to diversify your ideas.
Read other good answers as well, Keep writing:)
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Please review, Sir.
Sumita,
You have Written very well. Introduction is very well articulated. Conclusion is also fine.
Your structure of the answer is good also there is nice flow in the answer.
But I want to point out issue of the word limit, exceeding it by 20-30 words is fine but length of your answer is too much. Try to concise it. Be simple and direct in your arguments.
Also add more examples. Try to write examples with each argument if possible.
Also in this question you could’ve give example in intro itself.
You have good content just try to concise it.
Keep writing:)
Id – #0000422539
Mradul,
Thank you For correcting me about the quote.
You have Written well, also tried to cover multiple dimension.
However rather than just focusing on the Gandhiji you needed to write Your understanding i.e. ‘what quote means to you’.
Here after giving context in the intro, you could have talked about Gandhi ji’s life as a message in brief
Than jumped to other areas like relevance in life of leaders, civil services or even into the life of a normal citizen.
You understood the question well, just needed to diversify the discussion.
Keep writing:)
REF ID: #0000425733
Please review
your Introduction to the answer is written well.
You have covered multiple dimension. Arrangement of Arguments and presentation is also Good.
But you need to quote more Examples. If possible one with each Arguments. Without them answer is incomplete.
Rest is fine, nothing much for me to add, you have written very well.
Just add more Examples. Keep it up;)
Order id: 0000422561
Vishnu,
Your introduction is very good.
Conclusion is fine but you have wrongly used words ‘double edged sword’ avoid such mistakes .
In main body you had to write about ‘what this quotations means to you’ not various lessons of Gandhi ji.
Rather you had to depict the relevance of the quote in life of leaders, civil servants, even in normal person.
You have the content but you have to mold it as per the demand of the question.
Read questions carefully and be mind of the keywords attached to the question.
Read others answers as well. Keep writing:)
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Murari ,
Your introduction is hardly relatable with the question.
There are random thoughts in your answer. You need to write what is asked in the Question. Not What you know. Here you have written about the world and except few lines it totally out of context.
You need to read the question properly, take your time, understand. Then answer.
In this question you had to write the context of the quote in the introduction.
Than its depiction in Gandhi ji’s life.
Than talk about it’s relevance into the life of other leaders, and than in life of Civil servants.
Use your content as per the demand of the question.
Read others answers for better understanding.
Keep writing, that the only way you can improve:)
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