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“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduction – define attitude with example
Body – write the functions of attitude with example.
Explain what important role they can perform for civil servants. Give example for this too.
Conclusion – explain how understanding attitude can make civil servants more efficient and effective.
Ref id 422329
Please review
Vishal
Your introduction is good. But you need some correction. The schematic you have used in introduction is without any explanation. Always use schematics/diagram with proper labelling.
Your main body part of the answer is also well attempted. Here also you need to remember certain things. Never use any person name when you are using it in negative sense. You could have used only sachin in your answer and name of Vinod kambali in negative sense should be avoided.
Conclusion part is also well attempted.
Keep writing to improve further đ
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Subhashree,
Your answer is good. However, focus on these things to improve further-
1. In knowledge function you need to read more. Your understanding look superfluous. Also, example given here of mosquito is not a good one and is to be avoided.
2. Don’t use quote without context. Writing quote out of nowhere doesn’t left a good impression. Using quote is good. But context is equally important.
Conclusion is good.
Keep writing to improve further đ
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Harshaa,
Your introduction is good.
However, you have completely forget to write the first part of question – function of attitude.
Don’t make this mistake.
Without the first part you can’t write 2nd part. As you were supposed to write the importance of functions for civil servants.
What you have written is general importance of positive attitude. This was not the question.
Always read mentors comment to understand demand of the question.
Keep writing to improve further.
2.5/10
Review
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Rajlaxmi,
Your introduction need improvement. Always read before writing if you lack concrete knowledge. Prepare a better definition of attitude to give depth to your answer.
Part – a. Function of attitude is well attempted. You can further improve it by adding example.
Always use schematics/diagrams with proper labelling.
Also, you don’t have to give multiple example for same idea. Try to incorporate more ideas/ points in your answer.
Follow the principle of one argument followed by one example.
Keep writing to improve further:)
3.5/10
Please review
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Utkarsha,
You have attempted well.
Few areas where you can improve-
1. Always use schematics/diagram with proper labelling
2. Some example you have given for function of attitude can be improved further.
Rest is well written.
Keep writing to improve further:)
5.5/10
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Ankita,
Your introduction is good. Content is also good. But you need to mould it as per demand of question.
The question was importance of functions of attitude for civil servants. You have forget to use this context.
This could have been done by simply using examples related to civil services.
Always read question 2-3 times to avoid such mistakes.
Keep writing to improve further.
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Murari,
First of all, you have used way too words. UPSC only provides 2 pages for 10 marker question. Always adhere to word limit.
First half of the answer – function of attitude is attempted good. You just need to shorten it.
In 2nd part – importance of functions of attitude for civil servants. You have committed every mistake one can commit in the answer.
Firstly, you have assumed a position for oneself. And even in that you have shown yourself lacking every values we desire from civil servants. Don’t just write what came to your mind. Always ponder upon what you are writing.
Avoid such things.
Keep writing to improve further.
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Kartikeya,
Your answer is well attempted.
You can improve it by ensuring you give examples related to civil services in functions of attitude as question was asked in that context.
Overall well written. Both introduction and conclusion are good.
Keep writing to improve further
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Shivanshu,
You have written good answer.
However, take care of content in some part of answer. What you have written as “ego defensive” and “self ego” is one and same thing. The other function is “value expressive”.
Otherwise good written with examples.
Keep writing to improve further:)
5.5/10
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Arpit,
You have written a very good answer.
Only suggestion for you is try to give some simple one liner definition of concept in your own words before writing definition of some thinker.
Overall well attempted.
Keep writing to improve further
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