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“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduce your answer by explaining the values of compassion and objectivity.
In body give your elaborated opinion about whether such a conflict exists. if yes then suggest the actions to address it.
and if you think If there is no conflict, then explain why it is so.
Give examples to substantiate your arguments.
Conclude by highlighting the importance of both values in civil service.
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Shubhashree,
You need to write better definition of compassion in Introduction.
Essentially you have explained the terms mentioned in the question separately which is not the demand of the Question.
Rather you had to discuss whether a civil servants compromise on the principal of objectivity whenever he act based on compassion.
So you must deal with both values together not in silos.
You have the content but your Arguement are not clear. You need to be very clear on your stand specially in question like this.
Also there is not even a single Example in your answer. if you want to score good Add exmples without which answer seems hollow.
Conclusion is fine but it can be better if focused upon the values discussed in the answer.
Don’t repeat mistakes. Keep Practicing đ
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Kindly review
Sonal,
You have Written a very long Answer. You need to mind the word limit which you have Breached by a big margin. Writing few words more then the limit is fine. But this long answer can cause you even penalty by uspc so write concise answer.
Write smaller paragraphs. In such long paragraphs it’s hard to maintain focus on one argument.
Both values needs to be mentioned in one paragraph.
Rather then writing the importance of both values separately as you have done on first page you need to talk about them together.
Core part of the answer starts only on the second page.
There is vagueness on your stand in this answer. Be very clear on stand.
When you pointed out that you don’t think there is a conflict between both the values for a civil servant then you should not give heading ‘example of conflict and how to overcome’. Rather mold your write up to prove that both are essential for a civil servant and make services more humane and dedicated.
Rest is fine. All the best and keep Practicing đ
4.5/10
Ref no 0000420120
Rajlaxmi,
In this answer you have enough content but you couldn’t address the demand of the question.
You have Written a way too long Introduction and you have started discussion on the main part only at the second page.
You need to sum up whole write up of the first page into Introduction plus one Extra paragraph.
Essentially you have explained the terms mentioned in the question separately which is not the demand of the Question.
Rather you had to discuss whether a civil servants compromise on the principal of objectivity whenever he act based on compassion.
If yes then suggest ways to resolve the issue, if not then give proof.
So you must deal with both values together not in silos.
You have the content but your Arguement are not clear. You need to be very clear on your stand specially in question like this.
Also example given by you neither show objectivity nor compassion rather it just depict typical office process being done in India.
Here you should have Written that based on merit you will ensure the Old person gets benefits temporarily and if he doesn’t have requisite documents you’ll ensure that his documentation work gets done. That how you use both compassion and objectivity that is needed in public service.
So mold your content on above line. Conclusion can be Written Better.
All the best and keep practicing đ
2.5/10
pay_HH4AoVE2qPd386 please review @swatantra
Shivanshu ,
Your Introduction is good perhaps the best part of your answer.
You have mentioned constitutional values twice on first page but this hard to perceive their context. It’s hard to understand which constitutional value gets compromised while being Compassionate toward vulnerable section.
In this Answer you need to stay focus on the demand of the Question.
First you need to establish that there is a conflict among both the values then write ways to resolve it. Here too mention specific constitutional values else it’s look vague.
Give more space to the discussion that whether a civil servants compromise on the principal of objectivity whenever he act based on compassion.
Conclusion is fine.
Keep Practicing đ
2.5/10
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Kartikey ,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are Good. Overall you have Written a fine Answer.
How ever you need to more clearly establish that there is conflict between both the Values.
In Suggestions to balance you should Inculcate Ethics based points other then conditional and legal aspect like Gandhi ji’s talisman.
Rest is Written Good. There is nice flow in the answer. Arguments are well arranged.
You’ll score good in paper 4. All the best and Keep Practicing đ
4.5/10
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