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“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduce your answer by defining imperialism and reasons behind it.
Body-
In the first part the question requires you to write major conditions which were prevalent in Asia and Africa that led to their colonization by imperialist powers. Other conditions that helped the spread of imperialism in these continents are also need to be mentioned.
In second part of the question enumerate the various long term impacts of imperialism in these continents.
Conclude suitably.
Kindly check!
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Sailalaxmi,
Your Introduction is good but it can be better by the addition of fact or an Example.
In your body you have Written only three conditions that favoured imperialism i.e. tribal or disintegrated polity, traditional industries and IR in West.
You need to be a bit more objective add more reasons here like political and militarily weakness, Strong nation states in the modern sense had not developed, local and Feudal loyalties of people, huge size and vast Diversity in these continents
Other reasons:
Demands of raw material and cheap labour and market, Improvement in Transportation and Communication, Extreme Nationalism etc. Also add facts examples to give more depth to your answer.
The impacts of imperialism section is written fine but you need to give it more space and for better presentation and coverage divide your answer in the socio, economic and political aspects of life while writing separately native impact and positive by products like Western education, modern liberal principles like democracy.
There is good flow in your answer, expression of language is also good. Understanding of the question is fine.
But you need to improve content, structure and presentation.
Overall fine Attempt. Keep Practicing đ
3.5/10
Note- Since it’s a two month program last date to write answers is July 30th. All the questions will be evaluated latest by August 5th.
After that this program will end as we need to focus on Prelims. So write all the answers before 30th.
Kindly check
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Sehaj,
Your Introduction is fine but it’s long it should be limited to one paragraph of 5-6 lines at max. Also You need to write more refined definition and club both the paragraph into one.
Reasons can be divided into two sections first social, economic and political conditions prevailing in the Asia and Africa and second, other motivating factors like Industrial revolution, Extreme Nationalism that followed in West with the rise of Nation states etc.
Also add facts examples to give more credibility to your answer.
You could’ve divided on the same lines impacts also while writing separately positive by products like Western education, modern liberal principles like democracy.
You have good understanding but you need to improve your presentation plus write more arguments supported by facts.
Conclusion must be Written in each answer and it should be Written separate from body of the answer.
Keep practicing đ
Note- Since it’s a two month program last date to write answers is July 30th. All the questions will be evaluated latest by August 5th.
After that this program will end as we need to focus on Prelims. So write all the answers before 30th.
pay_HH1EGxOD3EGEhl
Shubhashree,
Your Introduction is very well articulated. It can be improved upon by addition of facts.
In first section your points are fine but they are Written haphazardly like points Related to Industrial revolution and raw material 1,3 and 4. And you have mixed to aspects conditions prevailing in Asia and Africa and motivating factors to colonial powers.
For better presentation you must divide this section on above lines. Also add facts to enhance value of the arguments.
In impacts section you can divide your answer on two lines negative impact and positive by products like Western education, modern liberal principles like democracy and your first point.
Rest is fine. Keep Practicing đ
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Sumita,
You need to write more refined definition of imperialism. Also quote examples here to add Value.
First section of the Question is written well. But it can be presented better. Conditions can be divided into social, economic and political conditions prevailing in the Asia and Africa.
In impacts section you can divide your answer on two lines negative impact and positive by products like Western education, modern liberal principles like democracy and your first point.
Rest is fine. Overall a fine Attempt. Keep Practicing đ
4.5/10
Payment id-HJHAZEWKSzM3CX
Ankita,
Your Introduction is well Written add facts in it to give depth to your answer.
In first section all your points except last one is related to Economy. You need to diversify your points. Reasons can be divided into two sections first social, economic and political conditions prevailing in the Asia and Africa.
And second, other motivating factors like Industrial revolution, Extreme Nationalism that followed in West with the rise of Nation states etc.
Impacts of imperialism can be divided into two sections negative impact in social, Economic and Political life and positive by products like Western education, modern liberal principles like democracy that led to awakening and freedom struggle resulting into freedom.
Like your many answer Conclusion is missing here too. Always Conclude your answer.
You have enough Content with a bit more improvement in presentation you can score well.
Keep Writing đ
Review Sir
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