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“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduce your answer with a brief write up about the Russian Revolution.
Divide body in two parts, write various causes leading to the Revolution in first and address its significance in second.
Conclude your answer with referential remarks like that though Russian Revolution was local in origin but International in impact.
Order number #0000416426
Please review
Rupesh,
Your Introduction is fine.
Your knowledge of the topic is very good. You have covered both the Aspect.
Try to write points dealing with same areas such as Political, social, economic etc together. It would avoid randomness in ideas.
First part you have covered well though few points like Russia’s participation and Role of Lenin can also be added.
For better presentation second part can also be divided into political, social and economic etc and you could’ve gone beyond immediate effects and written long term effects such as, Appeasement of Germany by western powers led to WW II, Cold War, Rise of Communist countries etc.
Conclusion can be written better. Idea that merits of communism and socialism were displayed by Russian Revolution gets falsified due fall of USSR.
Over all fine Attempt. Keep writing đ
7.5/10
pay_HH1EGxOD3EGEhl
Well attempted .can include more points in impact
–boost to right to self determination as it led to unilateral abolition of Russia’s right on its colonies
— blow to imperialism and strengthen India’s freedom struggle of 1920s
–influence India’s development model towards socialist in post independence period
Subhashree,
Your Introduction is fine.
Structure and presentation is good. You’ve Attempted both the parts of the questions.
You’ve covered various reasons but you need to write more specific points, your points are general in nature.
For example in Political you can write Czar didn’t fulfilled his commitment of political reforms, failure of Duma,
Economy- industrialization was rapid in nature which enhanced inequality and worsened peasants come labour conditions etc,
In impacts part add more points, use points you have written in conclusion, go beyond immediate impact add events such as Cold War, boost to decolonisation, provided an alternative economic and political line of thinking.
Always try to write impact of World events on India, if they have any. Revolution has huge impact on our Freedom movement, Constitution, Economy and foreign relations.
Conclusion is well articulated.
Keep writing for further improvement;)
6.5/10
Please review
Utkarsh,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are well articulated.
Expression is also good. Covered both the Aspects. However add more specific points like Role of Lenin, Czar’s decision to enter into WW-I and reverses tarnished image of monarchy etc.
In impacts you can add decolonisation movement (mentioning Effects on Indian Movement), ideological war between West and USSR leading to cold war etc.
It would be better if you can further divide your answer in Social, Political areas so to clearly depicts cause and impact in diverse areas.
Overall fine Attempt. Keep writing:)
Note- Please Mention payment Id otherwise answers will not be evaluated.
Payment ID- HLOjtqOLjvDs5Y
@swatantra
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Sorry for the delayed evaluation. Due to some family health issue I was not able to devote much time here
Chandrama,
Your Introduction is good but it’s lengthy try to write concise introduction.
You have covered both the part of the question however you need to add more points in each.
Also try to write point related to one area together.
In part one you can add points like Rapid industrialization in Russia led to high inequity, failure of Tsar to introduce political reforms, weak Duma etc.
You need not to write way ahead separately when impacts are asked explicitly in question so use points Written in way ahead in impacts section. Add points like boost to decolonisation, rise of other Communist nation etc.
You must write conclusion separately from the main body.
Read others’ answer as well. Keep writing:)
You mean Some part of the ‘impact’ is written in Way Ahead and that I need to write conclusion distinctively which is clubbed under the Way Ahead . Right sir? @swatantra
yes
#0000422288
Kindly review
Nice one , you can prioritize point in second parts better and try to use key words like revolution gave boost to right to self determination and blow to monarchy and imperialism , provide the alternative model of development to capitalism
Sonal ,
Your Introduction is wholistic and good, it would be better if you can concise it.
You have written a fine answer overall, structure is also good.
It would be better if you substantiate your Arguments with facts for example mention, failure of Duma, Russo-Japanese war, WW-I.
Add role of intellectual and revolutionaries like Lenin
Nature of industrialization under Czar was rather rapid but unplanned limited to few parts of the country that caused misery.
Impacts part is well written for better explanation you can divide it into long-term and short-term impacts.
Rest is fine. Keep writing:)
Payment id HHU8LODcXby9Db
Arpit,
First of all this is 15 marks question you have written it for 10.
You have very good knowledge about the topic. Part 1 is very well written covered almost all the sections. However it would be better if you Inculcate facts in your answer. Also add points like Failure of Duma, continuous Wars, role of Lenin etc.
Divide causes section into Political, social and Economic etc. And significance into short and long term impacts. It would give more clarity. you written good points but Inculcate facts to support your Arguments, such as Political parties like CPI in India, Chinese Communist party, planned approach for Economic development, rise of welfare capitalism etc.
Conclusion is fine.
Read others’ answers. And Keep writing:)
3.5/10
Payment Id: pay HFrdyJMOEZ9967. Please review, Sir.
Sumita ,
Your Introduction is very well articulated but it’s long. Try to concise it.
You have very good idea about the topic and you have covered both the parts. However following issues are there:
1. In cause section you essentially written only one reason for each area, here you need to write more points in each section.
2. Write short paragraphs better to write in points for listing causes.
3. In significance you can write impacts in short term and long term plus try to depict impact on India such as on freedom movement, Constitution etc.
Overall your answer have very good content just need to improve presentation.
Read others’ answer as well.
Keep writing:)
Payment Id: pay_HHOMaDqnwYDcZ5
Order Id: #0000422294
Zulu,
It was a 15 marks question but you have Written it for 10.
Introduction and conclusion are fine.
You have written both the part of the question but in part one 3 out of 5 Related to just monarchy here you need to diversify your answer add points such as rapid but unplanned and limited industrialization and it’s ill effects, Role of intelligentia, Failure of Duma etc.
In significance part you must write facts to support your points other wise this section is well written.
Always try to depicts impact of World events on India if there is any. Like establishment of CPI, welfare state, planned Economy etc.
Rest is fine. Keep writing for further improvement:)
Payment id-HJHAZEWKSzM3CX
Ankita 4,
First of all it’s a 15 marks question you are need to discuss in greater detail.
Your Introduction refer so importance events of 1905 in Russia not of Revolution of 1917 per se. Try to write better Introduction signifying importance of Russian Revolution of 1917.
In main body you can Written both part. But only one point for each area which is not sufficient add more points like Ill effects of Rapid, limited and unplanned industrialization, failure of Czar to introduce reforms resulted into Failure of Duma, Russo-Japanese war and national humiliation etc.
Significant written well it would be better to divide it into short term and long term effects. Add facts to support your points.
Also always try depict impact of World events on India, if there any, such as on Freedom movement, planned Economy, Constitution etc.
Always conclude your answer
Read others’ answer and Keep writing:)
Review
Ref no 0000420120
Rajlaxmi ,
You have given a very narrow perspective in Introduction, Russian Revolution was inspired by Marxism but it was much more.
In main body you have covered both the aspects .
In causes section you must write all the issues related to one area together under a broad headings like Political. The way you have Written is haphazard. So arrange your Arguments better.
Use facts like Bloody Sunday either under immediate cause along with WWI or to depict despotism of Czar’s regime.
Add more points like Failure of Czar’s to fulfil promises after 1905 movement, failure of Duma, unplanned and rapid industrialization etc.
In significance you can present better by depicting impacts in short term and long term. It’s very good you have pointed effects on India but it’s a Word History Question and doesn’t ask you to write impact on India specifically so you must only 1-2 points, focus more on the effects on the World.
Same is the issue with your conclusion.
You have knowledge about the topic but better arrangement and presentation is needed.
Read others’ answer as well and Keep writing:)
Payment Id : 115213946268
Vivek,
Your Introduction if fine.
Presentation is fine. You have covered both the part of the Question.
However in causes part you have stretched one point, war impact for instance too much which Shadow over the points that you could have written separately. Also war was just one reason so much not give it that much of space.
Write points direct to make it sound more impactful for Example in first para under Tsar’ autocracy is hard to understand.
Add more reasons such as Role of intelligentsia, Role of Lenin, material and ideological impact of western Europe- (economically more developed and Ideals of French revolution).
In significance you can divide in short term and long term impacts plug focus more on impact on the world aspect.
Conclusion is very well articulated.
Read others’ answer and Keep Writing:)
Order id -#0000420396
@swatantra
Rohan ,
Introduction is very well articulated.
Your presentation is very good. Covered both the aspects.
Causes part is written very well, covered all the dimensions however you can add better in Economic section like late, unplanned, limited and Rapid industrialization and it’s ill effects, use better term than ‘Bastard Feudalism’ as it’s a controversial term also not much appreciated amongst historians.
Give equitable space to significance aspect. It would be better to divide impacts in short and long-term.
Also always try to write impacts of World event on India if they have any effect on India, Russian Revolution has huge impact on our Freedom movement, Constitution, Economy and foreign relations.
Conclusion is fine.
Overall all a fine Attempt.
Keep writing:)
Please review @swatantra
Shivanshu
Introduction is fine but it can be much better especially for a monumental events of World History like Russian Revolution.
You have Covered both the parts. Written various points and facts but
But structure of the answer needs an improvement.
Your causes section is Written very haphazardly. Arrange arugments Related to one area under one broad heading.
In significance most of the points deal with ideological impacts. Add other areas also. You can divide this section into long-term and short-term effects.
Always try to write impact of World events on India, if they have any. Revolution has huge impact on our Freedom movement, Constitution, Economy and foreign relations.
Conclusion is fine.
Read others’ answer as well. Keep writing:)
6.5/10
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