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“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduction- Give some fact related to issues faced by disadvantaged sections and relate it to the empowerment.
Body-
Briefly discuss the issue faced by the disadvantaged sections.
Then discuss how the three pronged strategy works for their benefit.
Then mention the steps taken by the government
Conclude with remarks having forward looking outlook.
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Shubhashree,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are fine.
You have content but it’s not written well. First you need to give lesser space to problem faced by the disadvantaged groups and more to three pronged strategies.
In three pronged strategies Section essentially you have written only Govt steps rather here need to point out impact, benefits such approach brings.
Like Social Empowerment is the process of developing a sense of autonomy and self-confidence, and acting individually and collectively to change social relationships and institutions and discourses that exclude these sections and keeps them in backwardness and Poverty.
You should write same way for all three.
Rest is written fine. Just mold your content and give more analysis based arguments.
Keep Practicing đ
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Sahaj,
Your Introduction is fine. Three pronged strategies needs to be discussed in detail in body rather then giving a reference to it in Conclusion.
This question is not just About problems and steps by the govt.
Rather you need to discuss various strategies as mentioned in the Question.
You need to give analysis related to why any specific strategy is needed and what benefits it will bring like.
Social Empowerment is the process of developing a sense of autonomy and self-confidence, and acting individually and collectively to change social relationships and institutions and discourses that exclude these sections and keeps them in backwardness and Poverty
For this Govt has taken steps like Women Reservation in Panchayats, Welfare scheme like NFSA, MGNREGA with special emphasis upon women/SCs/STs, The SC And The ST (Prevention Of Atrocities) Act, Transgender Persons (Protection of Rights) Bill, rights of Persons with disability Act, reservation in jobs and education to differently abled/SCs/STs, reservation of seats in Parliament/Assemblies for SCs/STs, Fifth and Sixth Schedule, PESA, Forest Dwellers Rights Act etc.
Write up on the same lines is needed for two other strategies.
your expression is good, write to the point answer. There are Practice questions so you should Read question properly. Think about it’s demand. Frame your Arguements then write them. In this way you can improve alot.
All the best and keep Practicing đ
2.5/10
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Sailakshami,
Your Introduction is good but it’s very lengthy. Over emphasis given to it made you compromise space which could have used for main Body. You should dedicated 3/4 space to body of the answer.
Whole write up on the first page can be summed up in two paragraphs.
In three pronged strategies Section essentially you have written only Govt steps rather here need to point out impact, benefits such approach brings, divide your answer into there headings as given into the question.
Like Social Empowerment is the process of developing a sense of autonomy and self-confidence, and acting individually and collectively to change social relationships and institutions and discourses that exclude these sections and keeps them in backwardness and Poverty.
You should write same way for all three. Address the demand of the question by writing what is asked. Focus more on analysis part.
I’m sorry for delayed evaluations. However I hope that it will help in writing better answers.
I wish you all the best for the preliminary examination. Stay in touch with Mains answer Writing Atleast till the 15-20th of aug. After that your sole focus should be Prelims. Work hard, study hard and stay calm, calmer you’ll be in exam hall on the day of Prelims sharper will the brain work and brighter will be the chance of yours to go through the preliminary.
Good Luck đ
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Kartikey,
Your Introduction and Conclusion both can be improved. Inculcation of some fact in Introduction can improve it.
Overall you have Written a decent answer. But again like your few previous answers you have missed a section in this too.
Highlight briefly Various problems faced by disadvantaged Section. One paragraph dedicated to this is enough.
Specific Strategies and steps on the same by the Govt can be Written together for ease of reading to the evaluator. Otherwise it’s written fine.
Overall a good effort but it can be improved.
All the best and keep Practicing đ
Keep Practicing đ
4.5/10
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