Written by
in
Mentor’s Comments-
order id 0000566744
Uttara
This is a 15 mark question, content is less for that.
Introduction is also quite unrelated. You have written broadly about gender inequality, but question is specific about entrepreneurship roles. You could mention WEF’s global gender gap report, only 10% women in leadership/managerial positions in India, skewed contribution of women in GDP, unequal pay for equal work inspite of law etc
Next part about factors of discrimination are fine but mostly all are societal factors, try to diversify the answer. Absence of female investors and mentors, lower participation in STEM education, lack of network, lack of transparency in salaries etc can be mentioned.
Schemes mentioned are okay but you can mention them in conclusion, before that mention a proper way forward with some diverse points ( role of self-help groups, equal pay for equal work, menstruation benefits bill, ensuring safe workspace, income tax benefits to women etc). Points related to skill development, vocational training are good and can be mentioned here only.
Keep practicing. 🙂
Order no : 568009
Shambhu
This is a 15 marker, so 2.5-3 pages should be ideal, content is less.
In intro in 2nd line, you cannot use x%, plus NCRB usually releases crime related data. WEF’s global gender gap report, only 10% women in leadership/managerial positions in India, skewed contribution of women in GDP, unequal pay for equal work inspite of law etc
Next, question is about discrimination in entrepreneurial positions, so subsection should be made accordingly. You have mentioned societal factors, but try to diversify the answer by mentioning absence of female investors and mentors, lower participation in STEM education, lack of network, lack of transparency in salaries etc.
Also, you need to substantiate statements such as gender bias in legislation/statutes with examples otherwise it seems like a generic sweeping statement.
Way forward is fine, further points like equal pay for equal work, menstruation benefits bill, income tax benefits to women, need of skill development, vocational training etc can be mentioned.
Also write a one line conclusion.
Keep practicing. 🙂
Kindly review my answer
Aditi
Good attempt, your answer is quite content rich.
Introduction is too long, try to make it concise, patriarchy and all can be mentioned in causes in next part.
Next part about causes are fine, diversify the answer by mentioning absence of female investors and mentors, lower participation in STEM education, lack of network, lack of transparency in salaries(unequal pay for equal work), concerns regarding safety etc.
Effects and way forward part are good. Some ways to mitigate above mentioned issues can also be mentioned.
Conclusion is fine.
Keep practicing.
Also mention your reference ID while posting next answers. 🙂
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.