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“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduce by highlighting the status of the tropical countries and level of their development.
In first part of the body point out that tropical regions are rich in resources but some factors lead to their underdevelopment. List these factors.
In Second part Point out how countries like India, Kenya, Bangladesh Brazil etc. turning various limitations to their advantage.
Conclude on positive remarks how other tropical nations can take inspiration for these nations.
Ref id 422329
Please review
Vishal,
Better Introduction would be if you Point out the irony that question talked about. Like despite of rich in resources only two tropical-zone countries, Hong Kong and Singapore, rank among the 30 countries classified as high-income by the World Bank.
You have addressed the demand of the question but more points can be added in each section such as, burden of disease is considerably higher in the tropics; Rapid deterioration of Tropical soil due to torrential downpour making agricultural possibilities limited; Difficulties in lumbering and livestock farming, colonial legacy, ethnic strife, etc. in first section.
And in second section you can talk about solar energy, investment in sunrise industries, utilisation of carbon credit etc.
Conclusion is fine. Keep practicing for further improvement:)
3.5/10
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Shubhashree,
Your whole first page is extension of intro concise it and use some facts or reports to clearly portray the irony like only two tropical-zone countries, Hong Kong and Singapore, rank among the 30 countries classified as high-income by the World Bank.
Your maps needs some improvement first draw global parallels (equator and tropics), then point out various resources present in the region.
You reasons for development are fine but since this is paper one you need to write geography related reasons as well such as Rapid deterioration of Tropical soil due to torrential downpour making agricultural possibilities limited; burden of disease is considerably higher in the tropics; Difficulties in lumbering and livestock farming etc.
Second section bus written vague. You need to write more specific points here. Like utilisation of solar energy, investment in sunrise sector, carbon credits, eco tourism etc.
Conclusion is fine. Give more depth to your discussion. Keep practicing đ
Please review @swatantra sir
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Prashant,
You need to read more about the geophysical feature of tropical regions. It is a myth that the tropical soils are rich. The torrential downpour in the region washes off all the nutrients from the soil, making agricultural possibilities limited.
Essentially you have talked about only one aspect (why tropical region are underdeveloped) and in that too you have pointed out only one reason that is colonial exploitation.
Write more relevant points in each section such as, burden of higher in the tropics; Rapid deterioration of Tropical soil due to torrential downpour making agricultural possibilities limited; Difficulties in lumbering and livestock farming, ethnic strife, etc. in first section.
And in second section you can talk about solar energy, investment in sunrise industries, utilisation of carbon credit etc. due to which some countries are moving forward in development path.
Read more about the topic. Keep practicing:)
1.5/10
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Santosh ,
Your Introduction is fine but write some facts to make this irony apparent. Like only two tropical nation Hong Kong and Singapore, rank among the 30 countries classified as high-income by the World Bank.
In first section of the body you written good points but you must understand this is paper 1 here you need to keep focus on geographical factors like the burden of disease is considerably higher in the tropics ,
Rapid deterioration of Tropical soil: It is a myth that the tropical soils are rich, The jungles in these regions are dense and remotely accessed and home to many indigenous people and endangered species. Etc.
Second section you must decide your want write in paragraphs or point format. Presentation is poor. But arguments are fine.
Here you need to add facts to support your arguments.
Conclusion is fine. Keep Practicing for further development.
3.5/10
Please review sir
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Shushmita,
You have Written a very answer.
Introduction is very well articulated.
First section is very well written though more points can be added such as colonial legacy, ethnic strife, corruption and Political instability etc.
In Second Section it would be better if you write steps taken first then using countries as examples it will give your answer broader coverage.
Conclusion is fine.
Overall good Attempt. Keep Practicing đ
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Kartikey ,
Use some facts in your Introduction to make this irony more apparent. Like only two tropical nation Hong Kong and Singapore, rank among the 30 countries classified as high-income by the World Bank.
First part of the body is written fine but you need to prioritize your points better. Since it’s paper 1 geography section’s question so write geographical reason first.
In Second Section it would be better if you write various measures first then using countries as examples it will give your answer broader coverage and you can Inculcate more points.
Add more points here like utilisation of natural resource like solar energy, carbon credit, ecotourism etc.
Overall a fine Attempt. Keep Practicing đ
4.5/15
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Arpit,
It would be better if you can depict irony in your Introduction by using some facts.
It has been points out to you earlier as well that you should always address core sections (asked explicitly in question) with proper write up. Write 1-2 lines for each point, add facts for each. and write more effective points here like development of technology, especially Production technology in the two critical areas of agriculture and consumer industries, burden of disease is considerably higher in the tropics, Difficulties in lumbering and livestock farming etc.
Avoid Writing on the margins. Don’t make it a habit UPSC levy heavy penalty for writing on margins.
Second section is written well though more points can be added.
Rest is fine. Keep Practicing đ
Please review @swatantra
Kindly review @swatantra sir
Ref id 420326
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