26th June 2019 | Daily Answer Writing Enhancement

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Question 1)

It has been observed that the ozone hole develops over Antarctica, and not over manufacturing centers where chlorofluorocarbons are released prodigiously. How can you explain this phenomenon? Examine the possible health and environmental impacts of ozone depletion. (150 Words)

Question 2)

What is data localisation. Discuss the debates around it and provide a solution which works for all stakeholders involved.(250 words)

Question 3)

Basic rights along with fundamental right are required to maintain right to life and liberty. Explain.(250 words)

Question 4)

All correct decisions are honest and all incorrect decisions are dishonest. Do you agree? How should the correctness and incorrectness of a decision be decided? (150 Words)

 

Comments

84 responses to “26th June 2019 | Daily Answer Writing Enhancement”

  1. Kunal Aggarwal Avatar
    Kunal Aggarwal

    Q1

    1. Vishal Kalal Avatar
      Vishal Kalal

      Overall a good answer. Some Specific observations:
      1. The intro could’ve been better if the Ozone hole was defined
      2. Missed 1-2 meteorological conditions like Polar Vortex (which isolates the air over Antarctica from the world)
      3. No need for specifying too many harms w.r.t question
      4. Conclusion is good

    2. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Kunal
      Good intro. Its short and to the point.
      The coverage of the 1st and 2nd parts are adequate.
      Language of the answer is good.
      Good concluding paragraph.
      Decent attempt.

      Marks: 6

  2. Kunal Aggarwal Avatar
    Kunal Aggarwal

    Q2

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Just in a couple statement, mention whats the importance of data in the present times.
      In the discussion regarding pros and cons of data localisation, points are decent but structure is weak and flow is not in the 1st part.
      For better structure use sub headings and try to keep similar discussions together.
      There is lack of coherence regarding whether data localisation is good or bad.
      The way forward needs more depth and points. This cannot be dealt in a concluding paragraph.
      Read the model answers.

      Marks: 2.5

  3. Kunal Aggarwal Avatar
    Kunal Aggarwal

    Q3

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      That’s a simple and to the point answer
      I just felt that had u elaborated the concluding paragraph a bit more instead of just using it as a conclusion ,it would have been better
      Else everything was good.
      Very good discussion.

      Marks: 6

  4. Kunal Aggarwal Avatar
    Kunal Aggarwal

    Q4

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Delightful intro.
      Answer and discussion were good and to the point.
      It was not preachy and points were effective.
      To improve this answer, you should give examples like Coal Block Auction Case where the then coal secretary was imprisoned.

      Marks: 6

  5. Rohi Avatar
    Rohi

    Payment ID
    MOJO9615400N46165573
    data locolozation

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Rohi
      After intro, mention what is the importance of data in the current global regime.
      Rest of the answer is fine and on the satisfactory line.
      Read the model answer for way forward.

      Marks: 5.5

  6. Ashok Reddy Avatar
    Ashok Reddy

    MOJO9617700D58501398
    Q1

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Ashok
      First half of the answer is attempted in decent manner.
      But 2nd half needs more points and depth.
      read the model answer.
      Good language.

      Marks: 4

  7. Ashok Reddy Avatar
    Ashok Reddy

    MOJO9617700D58501398
    Q2

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      After your intro, discuss briefly, the importance of data in the present world.
      Your 1st half of the answer is ok but you missed to answer the second part of the question: “provide a solution which works for all stakeholders involved.”

      Read the model answer for this part.

      Marks: 2.5

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Utkarsh

      Give some more insights in the 1st part of the answer.
      Good use of diagram.
      Good second part and conclusion of the answer.

      Marks: 3

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Very good intro.
      Good answer.
      Overall, all the dimensions are covered and discussed in holistic manner.
      Decent attempt.

      5.5

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Very nice.
      You mentioned very good points.
      Good language.
      Nothing to improve in this answer.

      Marks: 6

  8. Rohi Avatar
    Rohi

    Payment ID
    MOJO9615400N46165573
    3rd answer

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      You started the answer really well.
      But the second part needs better discussion.
      Simply discuss the importance of the relationship between BRs and FRs and how BRs should be strengthened.
      Better conclusion.

      marks: 3.5

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Sourav, please dont upload answers on third party, as mentioned in earlier tests also. And kindly submit answers for the relevant dates only. You have submitted answer of last week here. This breaks our flow.
      Kindly avoid this practice.

      Give more points regarding spreading of the zoonotic diseases. Read the model answer in this regard.
      Points are quite general and you need to work on it.
      Good way forward.

      Marks: 2

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Mohsin
      Please avoid submitting answers on third party sites. It breaks our flow.
      And please upload pics in portrait mode and not in landscape mode.
      Very big paragraph and lengthy intro.
      Points are general.
      Read model answer.

      Marks: 2

    2. Mohsin Khursheed Avatar
      Mohsin Khursheed

      Sir please mention the shortcomings in detail
      Thankyou

  9. pranab prakash Avatar
    pranab prakash

    Payment ID MOJO9611300N14575632
    Q1

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Pranab

      Good answer but more elaboration is needed, specially in the 1st part.
      Break the 1st part paragraphs into bullet points and try to explain a bit more.
      rest of the answer is fine and coverage is decent.

      Marks: 4.5

  10. pranab prakash Avatar
    pranab prakash

    Payment ID MOJO9611300N14575632
    Q2

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      After intro, mention what is the importance of data in the current global regime.
      Rest of the answer is perfect and points are satisfying,
      Good presentation and structure.

      Marks: 6

  11. pranab prakash Avatar
    pranab prakash

    Payment ID MOJO9611300N14575632
    Q3

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      I found your answer very informative.
      Good attempt.
      Second part is covered in quite effective manner.

      Marks: 6

  12. Vishal Kalal Avatar
    Vishal Kalal

    ID: MOJO9619D00D60871122
    Q1

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Vishal
      Very good 1st part of the answer.
      Explanation is crisp and to the point.
      Presentation (writing) needs work.
      2nd part is quite weak and it is lackluster.
      There is no depth or width in the coverage.

      3

  13. Vishal Kalal Avatar
    Vishal Kalal

    ID: MOJO9619D00D60871122
    Q2

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      After intro, mention what is the importance of data in the current global regime
      Shrikrishan committee should be mentioned in the in present and proposed policy of the data localistaion also you can give the example of cloud committee in present policy
      Rest of the answer is fine

      Marks: 4.5

  14. Vishal Kalal Avatar
    Vishal Kalal

    ID: MOJO9619D00D60871122
    Q3

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Good attempt.
      Answer is easy and yet informative.
      Give little more insights in the 2nd part of the answer.
      1st part is handed nicely.

      Marks: 5

  15. Varsha Chauhan Avatar
    Varsha Chauhan

    Q1 MOJO9611C00A14581096

    1. Vishal Kalal Avatar
      Vishal Kalal

      Very well structured answer. The para following intro is long. WF is very good, especially ‘national cooling action plan’

    2. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Varsha
      Try to keep paragraphs smaller.
      Apart from that, the answer is very good…explanations are much relevant …nice approach…well written…
      Good conclusion as well…
      Nice attempt…well done…keep it up…keep writing…

      Marks: 6.5

  16. Parth Ranjan Avatar
    Parth Ranjan

    Q1
    MOJO9617P00D58497630

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Parth

      Combine the 1st two paragraphs to make an unified intro.
      You do not need to too technical in your explanation. Keep the discussion short and simple in technical questions.
      Second part of the answer needs more points and depth.

      Marks: 4

  17. Parth Ranjan Avatar
    Parth Ranjan

    Q2
    MOJO9617P00D58497630

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Introduction seems to be okay…though more clarity would have been brought….
      After intro, briefly mention why DATA IS THE NEW OIL???
      Ideas mentioned are good….and well arranged…
      Conclusion is good as well…
      Overall, nice answer…good attempt…Keep it up…
      Keep writing…

      Marks: 5.5

  18. Parth Ranjan Avatar
    Parth Ranjan

    Q3
    MOJO9617P00D58497630

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Good and precise introduction…
      Overall, good attempt….
      prioritizing ideas with articulation will make your answer very good…
      keep practicing
      Keep writing…

      Marks: 4.5

  19. Parth Ranjan Avatar
    Parth Ranjan

    Q4
    MOJO9617P00D58497630

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      The answer is good with good conclusion…
      Over a decent attempt…
      Nice approach….
      Points and explanation are good.

      Marks: 4

  20. Varsha Chauhan Avatar
    Varsha Chauhan

    Q3 MOJO9611C00A14581096

    1. Varsha Chauhan Avatar
      Varsha Chauhan

      Pls Bear with the landscape mode one last time. Will be using camscanner from now on.

    2. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Quite a good answer.
      Explanation is really delightful.
      Structure and presentation are crisp and yet easy on the flow.
      Overal nothing wrong in the answer.

      Marks: 6

  21. Varsha Chauhan Avatar
    Varsha Chauhan

    Q4 MOJO9611C00A14581096

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Good examples
      Discussion is to the point.
      1st part of the answer is really well attempted and once again coverage has depth and width.
      Decent attempt.

      Marks: 6

  22. Varsha Chauhan Avatar
    Varsha Chauhan

    Q2 MOJO9611C00A14581096

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      After intro, mention why data has become so important these days and why we hear terms like DATA IS THE NEW OIL.

      Good discussion in the first part.
      Pleasant use of flowchart. Its a good tool if used in right manner.
      Way forwards are good.
      Overall again good answer.

      Marks: 6

  23. Shashank Mattoo Avatar
    Shashank Mattoo

    Q2)

    Please note that conclusion continues as follows: “strike a balance between promotion of efficiency and security. By doing so, India will fulfil the Prime Minister’s recent commitment to free economic flows and anti protectionism”

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Shashank
      After intro, mention why data has become so important these days and why we hear terms like DATA IS THE NEW OIL.
      Very lengthy answer.
      Is mainly because of your presentation skills and not because of exceeding word limits.
      Write in smaller handwriting. This way you will get more space and your coverage of the answer will be better.
      Points in the pros and cons are general nature.
      Read the model answer.
      Second half of the answer is better and approach is better.

      Marks: 3

  24. Prakhar Bharadwaj Avatar
    Prakhar Bharadwaj

    Q1 paid

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Prakhar
      Depth is needed in the answer, specially 1st part.
      More elaboration is needed, specially in the 1st part.
      Break the 1st part paragraphs into bullet points and try to explain a bit more.
      Read the model answer in this regard.
      2nd part is covered nicely.
      Good conclusion

      Marks: 2.5

  25. Prakhar Bharadwaj Avatar
    Prakhar Bharadwaj

    Q2

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      After intro, mention what is the importance of data in the current global regime
      Shrikrishan committee should be mentioned in the in present and proposed policy of the data localistaion also you can give the example of cloud committee in present policy

      Rest of the answer is perfectly fine.
      The language is decent and crisp.
      Points are placed in right manner and there is no over explanation there.

      Marks: 5.5

  26. Prakhar Bharadwaj Avatar
    Prakhar Bharadwaj

    Q3

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Answer started really well but lacked depth in the main body.
      More discussion is required as in:
      what is BR and
      what is the intermingling relationship between BRs and FRs and
      what should be done to strengthen them?
      Good conclusion

      Marks: 2.5

  27. Prakhar Bharadwaj Avatar
    Prakhar Bharadwaj

    Q4

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Good but lengthy intro.
      Points are ok but try to give some examples within the framework of civil services.
      Also give real life examples like decisions taken in the coal block auction issue or 2G spectrum allocation case.
      Good conclusion

      Marks: 4

  28. pranita kale Avatar
    pranita kale

    Payment ID
    MOJO9620S00A18684466
    Q1

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Pranita
      Very good 1st part of the answer.
      Explanation is so pleasant to the flow of the answer and is crisp.
      The dimensions are covered really well in this part.
      The discussion in the second part is equally well described and explained.
      Overall very good attempt.
      Keep it up

      Marks: 6.5

  29. pranita kale Avatar
    pranita kale

    Payment ID
    MOJO9620S00A18684466
    Q3

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Good and precise introduction…
      Points under Basic Rights discussion needed are good…Good conclusion….
      Avoid too much of underlining or highlighting….If all the points are important then why to underline them….??
      Overall, good attempt….prioritizing ideas with articulation will make your answer very good…keep practicing…
      Keep writing…

      Marks: 5.5

  30. sourav singh Avatar
    sourav singh

    https://photos.app.goo.gl/eFZjzHXxS1Ur3jfBA
    Answers are provided in this link.

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Sourav this is the last time wr are considering your answers in third party website. We have been saying again and again to upload the answers here. Its really inconvenient for us and it breaks our flow and momentum. This is the last warning.
      Upload your answers separately one by one by clicking on comment box each time for separate answer…How to provide review on all the answers together….

      Upload again…

    2. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Q.1)
      Weak first part.
      Whats the use of diagram if no underlining explanation entails it?
      The first part needs better elaboration and discussion and points.
      Read the model answers.
      Similarly you have just mentioned pints in the 2nd part without having any sort of discussion.
      Not the way to approach answers.

      Read model answers or read answers of Kunal Agarwal or Varsha in the above comments.

      Marks: 1.5

      Q.2)
      After intro, mention what is the importance of data in the current global regime.
      Use of flowchart has not solved any purpose because of general nature of points.
      Read model answer.
      Your thought process and direction of the flow of the answer is decent but you are not able to articulate those points in effective and better language. Answers lack explanations and coverage and therefore points seem to be too general in nature.
      Keep writing. Answer improvement is a long process and it takes time

      Marks: 1.5

      Q.3)
      Better answer.
      Conclusion is very lengthy.
      Overall points are framed and presented in better manner than the last 2 answers.
      Structure is better.

      Marks: 3.5

      Q.4)

      Avoid lengthy paragraphs Your second paragraphs covered 60 percent of the 1st page and 40 percent of the 2nd page!
      Better examples are needed. Read the model answer.
      Again you know the required direction of the answer but failed to put a decent effort in terms of points or language or presentation.
      Read all the model answers.
      marks: 1.5

      And this is the last time we are checking answers in this manner. From next time onwards avoid google photos and all the answers under one file. It wont be checked.

  31. Ganesh DV Avatar
    Ganesh DV

    CDTEST26457

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Hi Ganesh
      Points are more in the direction of reason of Ozone hole and not in the direction of the question asked which is: Why ozone hole develops over Antarctica, and not over manufacturing centers where chlorofluorocarbons are released prodigiously.
      Read the model answers.
      Better presentation is needed when using bullet points. What is the segment saying? What is the direction of the discussion in the bullet points? Use a subheading to make this clear for the examiner.
      Better 2nd part of the answer but points are general in nature.
      read the model answer.

      Marks: 2

  32. Varsha Chauhan Avatar
    Varsha Chauhan

    no questions for today??

  33. Shashank Mattoo Avatar
    Shashank Mattoo

    Q4)

    1. Parth Verma Avatar
      Parth Verma

      Direction of the discussion is good but points need better explanation.
      language is decent but lack of depth make it look render-less. Work on your presentation skills as well, specially the hand writing. Its too big for the UPSC answers.
      Read the model answer for better understanding of what i mean explanation and coverage of the points.

      Marks: 2.5

  34. nikhita Avatar
    nikhita

    Q4 I’d :MOJo 9616600d12527703

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